Leaving the US

I was walking to the office, listening to Pink and the Indigo Girls, thinking about L-girl's post mentioning the hate mail she had received, etc. That got me thinking about people's attitudes toward those of us who leave. This blog is under the radar enough and, I think, people are less torqued over the issue that I've not experienced that. But, here are my thoughts to those on the so-called-right and so-called-left who might challenge our decision.

To the so-called-right: In 1978, after finishing my undergraduate degree, I enlisted in the U.S. Army. I enlisted - as opposed to joining as an officer - because I thought I might be a career officer and I felt that I'd be a better one if I had enlisted experience. My first assignment was as a military police officer at a nuclear weapons storage site in Germany. I've spent many hours behind locked gates "protecting democracy," freezing my ass off, being bored out of my mind. In 1981 I came off active duty, entered the reserves, and, in 1985, went to Benning School for Boys - also known as Officer Candidate School at Fort Benning, GA. As I drove through Georgia, psyched to be going, I played John Philip Sousa on my tape player. I am not making this up! A little over three months later I was commissioned as a 2LT.

For the next 15 years I was in and out of reserve and inactive reserve assignments. In 2000 I resigned my commission. After all the subterfuge, allegations, and games ("I know that you know that I know, but let's all play.") and, I admit, a completely different view on U.S. politics, militarism, etc. than I had at 22, I was finished. But, I had spent 22 years "serving" in various capacities.

The bottom line for me is that this country treats me as a second class citizen. It doesn't recognize my family. It screws me financially because we aren't treated as a family. And for this I put on the uniform. I have often asked myself, for a variety of reasons, what exactly what I "protecting" when I did so? It certainly wasn't my rights, my freedom. So, at the ripe old age of 50 I am tired of it. I just want to get my family to a place where we are equal under the law.

I served the country of my birth. I've earned a Ph.D. I've earned a J.D. I teach. I volunteer. I contribute to charity. In fact, I took 20 people to do recovery work in the Gulf last winter. But, yeah, I somehow don't deserve to be treated equally. I'm a non-person and particularly a non-mom in the eyes of this country. What would you do?

To the so-called-left: Yup. The above is true. But it doesn't capture a lot. In 1990-91, while my brother was jumping out of airplanes into Iraq, I was protesting with a sign "Reserve Officer Against the War." So, don't go all weird on me about military service. I've made a career out of challenging military policy and exposing military wrongdoing. I love Cynthia Enloe's work. Don't know it? Then don't talk to me about the military.

Think I'm "jumping ship" or that we're about to "turn a corner?" Maybe you - as an individual - think I deserve equal treatment under the law. A good number of your fellow lefties don't. Maybe you - as an individual - think my family deserves equal treatment under the law. Many of your fellow lefties don't. Mention marriage and everyone goes all wiggly about tradition or they're just too afraid of what their friends or constituents will think. Even John Kerry was a loser on this one. I never did get a good answer for how he reconciles his "belief in the tradition of marriage" with being a divorced Catholic. Hmmmm... The Democratic party is filled with chicken shits when it comes to the same-sex marriage issue. Civil unions are the 21st century version of separate but equal. It is separate and it's not equal. No way around it.

I've written, I've organized, I've protested. I'm tired. Does that mean I'll stop? Not a chance. But it does mean that I'd like to do it in a place that has at least made an effort of not just giving me a place at the table, but letting me eat, too.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming - So, no, I'm not in a bad mood. I was just thinking about how people on both sides don't really get it and wanted to spew something about it.

Have a terrific weekend! It's raining and dark here in Minnesota, but it's still Friday!