Bizarre!

Okay, the disclaimers... Yes, "people are different." No, we don't know what else might be going on. And, well, just read on.

Several months ago, friends of ours who moved from the US to Canada put us in touch with a couple, J&S, who were thinking of making the move North. But, specifically, they were thinking of New Brunswick! Yea! I composed several lengthy emails with my take on the pros and the cons and then, as they firmed up plans (so it seemed), several about vacation/tourism stuff. J&S were going to spend a week up here and check the place out. I recommended a decent hotel - with free wireless (critical!) and free movies - that had suite options as they would be coming with their two girls, one of whom is right around 9YO's age. Then, it occurred to me that they might like the opportunity to meet some of those in our fledgling Rainbow Families Network group. I asked if they would like me to arrange a small get-together so that they could do so. "Yes," J said. So, I got a sense of what would work - school ends Friday, some folks will head to their camps, etc. - and we set a date and time. Eight people (two couples and four coming alone) indicated that they would join us. Great! I emailed with J last week, just to pass on a few things like the fact that if you enter the border at Woodstock there's a nice visitor centre there.

Now, let me go back to July 2007. We flew into Halifax and spent four days in Nova Scotia. Then, on Thursday, 5 July, we drove to New Brunswick, arriving in Fredericton on a dreary, drizzly afternoon. I swear we didn't see a soul on the streets. It looked dark and depressing. That evening I was in a panic. We were so set on Fredericton being the "right" place for us and now I was second-guessing that. I remember that I could barely sleep. Snark warning! But, unlike some people, we didn't have anyone local to call and talk to about our initial impressions, to talk us down. We didn't have someone who had planned a get together for us, knowing that we might have, at least to some degree, an immediate circle of friends to welcome us. End of snark. But, the next morning was sunny and bright. I had a great meeting with someone from the university. We walked along the river. We didn't know for sure what would happen, but we were going to have a great vacation anyway. By the end of the day we knew this was the place.

Okay, back to 2010. Around 9 last night I received this message: "Well, we arrived. I don't think we can stay here thru the weekend. Sorry. Would you like to meet us tomorrow Wed for Breakfast? J"

Huh? Well, I was just, um, gobsmacked...

I immediately replied asking if everything was okay. I didn't hear back. I emailed again. She had left her number, so I called. No answer. Then, I decide to pack it in and soak in the tub. Phone rings. It was truly one of the most bizarre conversations I've had in a long time. She said that the kids were antsy, there was nothing to do, they had planned poorly, they're going to leave, "head east," and drive back south along the coast. "We went to a bookstore and I thought, 'I could do this at home,'" she said.

"All we've seen are highways," she said. Um, you just spent two days driving... Mind you, Fredericton has about 80,000 people, including the surrounding communities. It's not like the 401 runs through town. Yes, the hotel is on the retail strip from hell, but two minutes later you can be in a forest.

When she suggested that perhaps I understood, I said, "No, not really. We arrived on a Thursday afternoon with five days to spend and not nearly enough time to do everything we wanted." We had emailed about a day to Hopewell Rocks, a day in St. Andrews, time to check out different neighbourhoods... She just kept saying, "I guess we didn't plan well" and then, "There's nothing to do until the weekend" - when there's a multicultural festival in town.

Let me add that if she had said anything like, "I'm not liking what I see," or "It seems too small," or "I don't see any ethnic restaurants," or something besides "There's nothing to do," I would have been more empathetic and shared my experience of our first day. But, she sounded like a whiny twelve year old in a room with 500 books, a tv, and a computer. "Wahhhh, there's nothing to do." Or, as I've been known to say, in a well-stocked kitchen, "There's nothing to eat."

Nothing to do? Um - we had emailed about day trips to Hopewell Rocks, St. Martins, St. Andrews, beaches, parks, museums, the farmers' market, etc. It's not NYC, but then nobody operates under the illusion that it is. There's lots to do. But, it's not going to come knocking on your hotel room door.

Do I sound more annoyed than I should? Less understanding than I might? Yup. I was pissed. I had spent a considerable amount of time composing lengthy emails chock full of information. I had spent a fair amount of time planning a get-together with a bunch of over-committed people so that they would be able to hear about the place from more than just us.

But, most of all, I realize, I'm pissed because they didn't give the place a chance. When we got settled, we felt like we had discovered an overlooked gem. You know, we're in the fly-over/drive-through province. Fredericton was our little secret. No, not everyone will love it. Those of you in Toronto and Vancouver probably couldn't stand the fact that, e.g., I can count the "good" restaurants on one hand and the "ethnic" restaurants on the other. That's been our biggest complaint. But, we love that "rush hour" here is a joke to anyone from a "real" city. We love that we can be at the beach in an hour or in the middle of a forest in a few minutes. I love that when we do go to our favourite restaurants, servers actually recognize us. So, yeah, while it shouldn't be it feels like a slap in the face that they spent a few hours here, hung out at what I'm assuming was Chapters at the mall, and decided it was a bust. If they were at the local independent bookstore downtown then I'm even more puzzled as Fredericton has one of the most vibrant and charming downtown communities I've ever seen.

So, no, I didn't go to breakfast. I didn't feel like crossing the street to meet them, let alone going to breakfast. But, we had to decide what to do about Sunday. I emailed and explained that our guests would not be coming after all and that I would understand if folks had planned on coming primarily to be welcoming of our guests. Note: We had just had our monthly get-together. But, we would be here, with snacks and refreshments, for whoever (or is that whomever, I never know!) wanted to stop by. I'm happy to report that folks are coming, include a few who missed the last gathering will be coming. We'll visit. And, just maybe we'll all talk about how much we love Fredericton.