Time is flying. Exams ended last week, quickly followed by a flurry of Commencement activities. Early Monday morning we got started painting the kitchen; continued on Tuesday. Still not done, but mother-not-in-law arrived this morning so things are on hold for a few days. And, I've got to do some "school" work this week to get ready for summer teaching. I've been keeping up with folks' blogs, but not having much of a chance to post comments.
Monday evening we had an unfortunate experience. Around 10 pm, while watching a movie, we heard our neighbors start fighting. Short version - it got ugly fast and we called the police. We were mainly motivated to call because their five year old was home and parenting was part of the argument. Things settled down, the cops came, that was that. We've been neighbors for six years and this is a first. They are very, very Christian; very traditional, etc. But, we've got a fine "neighborly" relationship and the kids sometimes play together.
Yesterday, T, the wife/mom, came over bearing flowers. It was so sad. She came over to apologize, tell us that she had experienced moral failure in that she had cursed at her husband. Her account went from bad to worse. Clearly, in her mind, this was all her fault. Of course we had heard how it started. Him: "When I come home I just want to be left alone." He was annoyed that his son was still up at 9pm and that his wife had spoken to him when he wanted to be left alone. Yikes! Anyway, we chatted for a while and finally I just said, words to the effect of, "I know we come from very different backgrounds... but you need to know that you weren't the only one who was wrong." Her response was that, "...although his behavior had been shaming" her reaction was "more wrong because I screamed at my husband." I said something like sometimes the person who doesn't raise his or her voice can be saying the more abusive things. I didn't want to start quoting what we had heard, but it was so sad to hear her claiming all responsibility. She said that they were talking with their elders and their pastor... She said something I didn't understand about "being in the light," but I wasn't inclined to ask. It was just so sad. Everything we had surmised about their relationship was pretty much verified. Mr. Big Man. Yeah, right. And did I mention that we think there's some drug trafficking going on in the apartment across the street? Unfortunately with the windows open we get to hear all the "thumpa-thumpa" music at 2 am, etc.
So, that's it from here. Between now and next Friday I have to finish prepping things for the Germany course and finish posting everything for the on-line course here. I have to do some shopping before leaving. Hopefully we'll finish the kitchen. Mother-not-in-law leaves next Wednesday. So, on Saturday, 2 June I leave for Trier, Germany via London and Luxembourg. I have a nine hour layover in London so I hope to get into Victoria Station and spend some time in a few bookstores. I'm scheduled to spend the middle weekend in Stockholm. Then, I return on Saturday, 16 June, via Luxembourg and Amsterdam. I have a seven hour layover in A'dam. If all goes according to plan I'll go to my favorite pizza place, go for a long walk, and stock up on Gouda. In an unusual move I'm not taking my laptop. Between security, the intentionally long layovers to do some shopping, and the lack of connection at my lodging, no point in dragging it around. While I will have to spend some time at the Internet cafe in Trier and I'll keep up on my reading, I probably won't post much - unless of course there is big news! The German keyboard is frustrating and I should be out enjoying the city!
So, that's about it from here. Just wanted folks to know that I'm reading - and counting the days until we arrive in Halifax! Cheers!
10 months ago
5 comments:
Don't bring that laptop - withdrawal will be good for you, and there's a lot more to do than punch a keyboard while in Europe.
As for the neighbours: It is just so disappointing to me that in this day and age there are women who have that low a level of self-esteem. How sad . . . .
That is sad about your neighbors. What people sometimes don't understand is that domestic abuse can occur without a physical act. Also, escalation of words can lead to outright physical acts of violence. The kids, too, are greatly affected by this and even if they weren't in the same room, kids know exactly what is going on.
Please forgive me if this is intrusive and I don't want to be disrespectful in any way. Did your child hear what was going on? If he did, do you think some kind of (appropriate to his age) discussion might be helpful?
As we well know, domestic violence knows no boudaries of class, ethnicity, religion, geography, etc.
Can you tell I take this personally?
Anyway ... I wish you safe and wonderful travel. Thanks for checking in.
Re: Did your child hear what was going on?
First, I don't take your question as at all intrusive or disrespectful. Second, no, he was sound asleep on the other side of the house. Like so many kids, when he's out, nothing short of an earthquake will wake him - and maybe not even then!
Unfortunately, their son was awake and heard it all.
Take care and thanks for the good wishes!
Abuse can take so many forms, many times passive forms. The victim feels responsible for "upsetting" the perp. Very sad. I'm glad 6yo was asleep.
You live such an exciting life. I wish I could travel as much as you do. What a great life education you are bringing your son.
As far as neighbors go, we are pretty lucky. We like them all, but stay at an arms distance.
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